An Emptiness in My Life

I feel an emptiness in my life right now now. Two weeks ago, I'd go to my Mom's bedroom and we would lay on her bed talking and laughing and seriously telling her that I am very much satisfied with my life and I couldn't ask for more. She'd look at me, trying to tell me with her eyes, "Are you sure? You're young. You're still 23 years old." But, that was honestly what's in my heart. The feeling of fulfillment and the overabundant joy was very much present in my heart.

That was two weeks ago.

Those days where I'd go to church everyday to receive Jesus, listening to the gospel reading, giving alms to beggars, praying contemplatively every morning with God and having a very good conversation with Him (and feeling my tears running down to my cheeks), showing kindness and respect to other people and even strangers, giving my smile to every people I met, praying the Holy Rosary every night with my Mom and Sis, reading the Bible once in a while, go to confession -- in general, having a very good relationship with God and my family and those people around me.

And that was two weeks ago.

Right now, I feel terribly bad. Two straight Sundays of not going to Church with the family due to some TIME reasons, the rare occasion of praying the Holy Rosary, and not reading the Bible at least once a day. And because of this, I feel ashamed as I wake up in the morning to make my prayer to God. Because deep inside, I feel guilty.

I also noticed that during these days, some misunderstandings are happening in our lives. Little misunderstandings that shouldn't complicate things in our family life. I love my family very, very much and I want to bring back the things happened two weeks ago.

Maybe, just maybe, God is knocking at our door and inviting us again to reach out for Him.

HOSEA
by Gregory Norbet

Come back to me with all your heart,
don't let fear keep us apart.
Trees do bend, tho' straight and tall;
so must we to others' call.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you
to your heart where I will speak.
Integrity and justice
with tenderness you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

You shall sleep secure with peace;
faithfulness will be your joy.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

And that song tells it all.

(If you want to listen to the song, just click on the title, "Hosea".)
(Link for Gregory Norbet on Youtube, please click HERE.)