Friday, February 27, 2009

A Prayer When It Seems Life Is Crushing On You

Dear God,

Most of us always desire a perfect situation, a perfect life. Yet, You, my Lord, do not grant a perfect life. What You give instead is a perfect heart in the midst of an imperfect life. Teach me to be cheerful, hopeful, smiling amidst imperfections and to enjoy Your wondrous blessings every moment in time. Amen.

The Best Moments In My Life

Here are some of the best moments in my life:
  • Lying in bed listening to rain outside.
  • Choosing to sleep until 10 a.m. one Saturday morning.
  • Sharing stories with my family in a late Sunday afternoon.
  • Dining with my extended family.
  • Going to church and listening to the gospel scripture.
  • A long drive on a calm road.
  • Drinking coffee with my friends.
  • Finding money in my old pair of jeans or in the cabinet just when I need it.
  • Going to an out-of-town-trip or to the beach with my family, my grandpa and grandma, and my cousins.
  • Watching movie with my best buddies.
  • Giggling over to some silly jokes.
  • Playing with kids.
  • Reading a good book.
  • Taking a quiet walk with a loved one while holding hands.
  • Getting a hug from someone who loves me.
  • Playing with my puppy and watching him sleeping.
  • Going to a recollection or a retreat.
  • The moment when my eyes fill with tears after a big laugh.
  • Talking with my Mom while lying on her bed.
  • A quiet moment with God through praying.

"A Handmade Wallet" by Anonymous

There was an ill child who was brought to a hospital. After her treatment, the mother showed the doctor a hand-made wallet and said, "There are things we can't pay, I hope you take this wallet I made for you."

The doctor replied, "I don't practice for sentimental reasons, pay me P10,000."
The lady opened the wallet, took out P50,000, and gave the doctor P10,000. Then she replied, "You're a very good doctor, but, I wish you were a better person."

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Don't Quit Poem

This poem keeps flashing in my mind, then it made me think what if I just write it on my blog. When I was in high school in Ateneo and joined the Philippine Military Training, our superiors asked us to memorize this poem with all our heart. So, since I like this poem the first time I read it, I did what they asked us to do. Since then, this poem has been one of my sources of strength, encouragement, inspiration, and always uplifts my spirit.

"When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."

- Author unknown

Ash Wednesday

My mom and I woke up today at around 5 am. The Mass started at 6 am. We already planned the day before that we are going to attend mass to start the day of Lent. But what is really an Ash Wednesday?

In the Roman Catholic Church, Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, the season of preparation for the resurrection of Jesus Christ on Easter Sunday.

While Ash Wednesday is not a Holy Day of Obligation, all Roman Catholics are encouraged to attend Mass on this day in order to mark the beginning of the Lenten season.

The Distribution of Ashes:

During Mass, the ashes which give Ash Wednesday its name are distributed. The ashes are made by burning the blessed palms that were distributed the previous year on Palm Sunday; many churches ask their parishioners to return any palms that they took home so that they can be burned.

After the priest blesses the ashes and sprinkles them with holy water, the faithful come forward to receive them. The priest dips his right thumb in the ashes and, making the Sign of the Cross on each person's forehead, says, "Remember, man, that thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return" (or a variation on those words).

A Day of Repentance:

The distribution of ashes reminds us of our own mortality and calls us to repentance. In the early Church, Ash Wednesday was the day on which those who had sinned, and who wished to be readmitted to the Church, would begin their public penance. The ashes that we receive are a reminder of our own sinfulness, and many Catholics leave them on their foreheads all day as a sign of humility.

Fasting and Abstinence Are Required:

The Church emphasizes the penitential nature of Ash Wednesday by calling us to fast and abstain from meat. Catholics who are over the age of 18 and under the age of 60 are required to fast, which means that they can eat only one complete meal and two smaller ones during the day, with no food in between. Catholics who are over the age of 14 are required to refrain from eating any meat, or any food made with meat, on Ash Wednesday and for every Friday until the Easter.

Taking Stock of Our Spiritual Life:

This fasting and abstinence is not simply a form of penance, however; it is also a call for us to take stock of our spiritual lives. As Lent begins, we should set out specific spiritual goals we would like to reach before Easter and decide how we will pursue them—for instance, by going to daily Mass when we can and receiving the Sacrament of Confession more often.

The Bible does not mention Ash Wednesday or the custom of Lent, however, the practice of repentance and mourning in ashes is found in 2 Samuel 13:19; Esther 4:1; Job 2:8; Daniel 9:3; and Matthew 11:21.

(Source taken from

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The First Time I Felt My Heart Squeezed

When I knew that my cousin and I were refused from granting a UK student visa, I felt half-depressed and half-okay. Depressed in the sense that I was still hoping against hope that miracle will happen. On the other hand, it was okay because, logically speaking, we didn't completely pass all the necessary requirements, so, I had the intuition that there might be a problem along the way. Nonetheless, life must go on. As stated in the refusal letter, we have the right to appeal and passing the necessary document would make the entry clearance officer reconsider his original decision.

First things first, it was stated in the refusal letter, and I quote, "that the burden of proof is on you, the applicant." My cousin and I were laughing on this statement because it was like saying, "it's your fault, after all, that we refused your visa application.", but in a good way.

Actually, it's not really a hundred percent our fault. One of the requirements for student visa is our sponsor's bank certificate and 6 months previous bank statement. We begged our sponsor to provide us with the necessary document but, unfortunately, she refused to give us the bank statement. She said that maybe it's just a scam. We also asked her to go to the URL of the visa section, but because she was extremely busy with her profession, she wasn't able to do so.

Anyway, I felt completely okay few hours after and I even had a good night sleep. The next morning, my cousin and I went to the Consultancy Service where we had asked for help regarding visa application. And, alas, our newfound friend, Eric, was also there. (We met Eric during our application in the UK Embassy. He was alone and he looked familiar to me, so we befriend him. The next thing I knew, we live in the same city and he said that I was also familiar to him. We will also go to the same school in UK! What a coincidence. We felt an instant connection with him because he was cool, friendly, outspoken, and my cousin and I had a feeling that he was somewhat a homosexual. We even planned to go to UK together and share a flat.)

Luckily, the ECO granted Eric a student visa. While talking to him, along with the Consultant, Eric told us that he'll be going on the 21st of February. Bang! There I was, sitting while listening about his plans, that I felt for the very first time...the tightening of my heart. I felt like someone was squeezing my heart so hard. I deeply inhaled and exhaled for a few seconds. Thank goodness I didn't make it obvious for them to recognize.

When my cousin and I were on our way home, the tightness was still there, but much milder at that time. That night, to relieve the pressure in my heart, I let it out. Before I retire on that day, I cried my heart out and I even blamed God for what had happened. It was very unfair on my part, I know, but that was what I felt that time. Afterwards, I didn't notice that I was falling asleep.

The next morning, I felt rather relieved...then my mom noticed my puffy eyes.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I Pawned My College Ring In The Pawnshop

Two days ago, I went out to town to pass my resume in the call center I was applying for. My mom gave me money to buy her anti-hypertensive medicine. By the afternoon, my cousin and I went into this coffee shop to meet someone. Then, after the meeting, we attended a mass at around 5:30 in the afternoon. After the mass, we felt hungry, so we went to McDonald to eat something, then we parted ways. When I was about to go home, there I remembered I have to buy the needed medicine for my mom.

As I looked into my pockets to see where the money was, I realized I used her money and what was left was not enough to buy her medicine. My adrenaline suddenly rushed up. I had to think of a way or two to buy the medicine! Maybe I have to go back to my cousin and borrow money. No, I don't think so. My dad already borrowed some money from her and I'm not sure if he already paid her. I can't go home without the drug. What about my two ATM cards? Maybe I still have extra in it. And, so, I went to the ATM machine. The first ATM card I inserted was the card I was using when I was still employed. I felt relieved when the screen flashed 200 pesos in it. 100 pesos is enough for the medicine to purchase. Unfortunately, I couldn't withdraw the said amount. I tried to withdraw it all, but, still couldn't. Oh no! Maybe the 2nd card will help. Damn, no cash in it.

Feeling depressed about what happened, I walked in the town at around 8 pm trying to calm my already-calmed brain and thinking what to do next. Then, I suddenly saw the sign that says "Pawnshop". This is it, I thought. I had to sacrifice my only gold jewelry I was wearing that time - my college ring. As I was going nearer to the pawnshop, it was already closed. I still didn't lose hope. Maybe there were still pawnshop that open 24 hours.

Another blocks to go, there I saw the third pawnshop on my way, and good thing it was opened. I appraised my ring and the price was so good to resist and the interest was good, as well. So, I didn't hesitate to pawn my college ring. As I received the 2,600 pesos, I felt good. I went directly to a pharmacy and bought the needed medicine.

When I arrived home, I immediately gave the drug to my mom. And I didn't tell her what happened to me the entire evening. I thank my college ring for the help, but, I felt sorry at the same time for sacrificing it. I love my ring, but I love my Mom most.

My next agenda? Trying to figure out how to get my college ring back.

Photos of My Puppy

At last, thanks to my sister, I've got new photos of my puppy. He's very adorable and cute. Check these out.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I've Got a New Puppy!

I've got a new puppy
And he's name is Baby.
Weird name, I know
But I couldn't think of any.

He's actually my first, serious puppy
And I love him so much.
Serious, in a sense that I'm taking care of him
Unlike the other puppies before.

I'm thinking of taking a photo of him
To let the world see this little doggie.
But he's asleep at the moment
Because it's already nighttime in here.

Visa Refused

Oh, I really had a bad day when I received a courier from the UK Embassy telling me that I got refused! Well, I couldn't blame them. As written, and as I quote: "The burden is on you, the applicant." Damn! Please don't punish me for this. It was my sponsor's fault for not providing the bank statement. But, still, I couldn't blame her either. I should be thankful for her for being my sponsor. Anyway, I think I'm gonna try again next time. Everything has a reason and for now, I'm still trying to find out what it is. Whew!

The Don'ts of Break Up

There are a lot of mistakes that many newly-single people make after a break-up that will only prolong their pain and suffering, and I was one of those people. But thanks to the online (experts and non-experts alike) and personal advices, I have survived my loss in just a matter of weeks! By the way, letting go and moving on is a case-to-case basis. So, it's really up to you. Just remember, when you have found the reason to walk away, never look back. Just keep going even if the destination is unclear. It will take a lot of courage for every step you'll make, but it will save some pride and honor for yourself. It's better to get lost moving on, than being stranded and broken after all.

"Love is a risk; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But whether it's pain or joy, or right or wrong, love doesn't have room for mistakes, only lessons."

RULE No. 1: Don't Remain "Just Friends"

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute 'get your ex back' manuals start with this first simple step: take a break.

Give yourself some time to mourn your loss. Get to know yourself as a single person. Toe your lines of independence and find out what makes you happy again. Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain. Think of any interaction with your ex like an addiction -- every single time you succumb, it'll be that much harder to refuse later.

RULE No. 2: Don't Keep Remnants of The Relationship Lying Around the House

There are quite a few things considered 'remnants' of a relationship, including photos, mementos, clothing, love letters and even food. After a break up, it can be challenging to remove all of these items from your home. One of my options back then was to give them all back to him personally. I thought this was the best thing to do. Good thing, my male cousin told me to forget about it. Then, I realized that it was not really my purpose. What I really wanted was to see him and to have a look on his reaction when I'll give those stuff back to him. So, here's what you should do. Instead, fill a box with whatever items you feel will be necessary at some point in time in the future but still remind you strongly of your ex, and then put that box in a private, out-of-the way place for the time being. There will be more than enough reminders on a day-to-day basis of your ex's just because of how the human mind works. You won't need any extra help to add fuel to the break up fire.

RULE No. 3: Don't Deny Negative Emotions

There is no doubt that you will feel strong emotions after a break up, such as loneliness, anger, fear, shame, uncertainty, humiliation, sadness, despair and jealousy. For many, these feelings will also surface physically, like crying or feeling like your heart is breaking or squeezing.

Not only are these 'negative' emotions healthy, but they are important to feel in order to remain healthy. Sure, they seem miserable and probably don't make you feel better in the moment, but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Plus, a scientific study undertaken in 1980 by Margaret Crepeau found that frequent criers are healthier people. So don't be afraid to comfort yourself via expressing your negative emotions. And ventilating your feelings around people who loves you is a nice thing to do too. You'll not just lessening your baggage, you also make them feel that you trust them.

RULE No. 4: Don't Self-Medicate

If there were issues related to addictions, abuse, mental health (i.e. depression), or self-mutilation prior to your break up, please seek out professional help to assist with your specialized needs. The same goes for those finding themselves using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or any other harmful self-medicating behaviors to cope with the pain after a break up. And if you feel the need to hurt yourself or someone else, please call someone (a family member or a friend) or a crisis hotline immediately.

RULE No. 5: Don't Stop Taking Care of Yourself

Most people's basic needs are the same: food, sleep and protection from the elements (i.e. shelter and food). During a particularly difficult break up, some people aren't able to manage even these simple tasks -- which is understandable, although not acceptable.

If you cannot be your own best friend right now, ask for help. Talk to your friends, family, a counselor and/or loved ones and let them know you may need a bit of extra support in the next little while. Additionally, create a break up action plant too post in key places, such as on your fridge or hidden away in your desk at work. That way you'll have not only have people checking out for you, but you'll also have created a foolproof list of things that make you happy to refer to.

Lovapalooza 1 on Valentine's Day

Uh oh, it's February, and good thing I'm not pressured to go on dates to have a partner on Valentines this year. I could still remember the very first Lovapalooza, which was organized by Close-Up toothpaste, on February 13, 2004. It was a nationwide, lover's event! My lovey (back then) and I waited nervously and excitedly in the line along with other couples. (Well, actually, we were the few ones who arrive much earlier.) It was the sweetest, cutest, and the exciting moment, I thought, having your boyfriend and kissing him along with the crowd and be a part of breaking the Guinness World Record in the most number of kissing couples, thus, having 5,347 kissing couples in attendance.

And what's even more, there were also bands playing their songs, actors and actresses who, some of them, were real-life couples, and even the local politicians joined to witness the much-awaited event. And we've also got special tokens and special prizes were given to some couples. At exactly 12 midnight, all couples throughout the country kissed for ten seconds to break the previous record from Chile's 4,445 kissing couples record.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Fifteen Promises of Mary to Christians Who Recite the Rosary

1. Whoever shall faithfully serve me by the recitation of the rosary, shall receive signal graces.
2. I promise my special protection and the greatest graces to all those who shall recite the rosary.
3. The rosary shall be a powerful armour against hell, it will destroy vice, decrease sin, and defeat heresies.
4. It will cause virtue and good works to flourish; it will obtain for souls the abundant mercy of God; it will withdraw the hearts of men from the lover of the world and its vanities, and will lift them to the desire of eternal things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means.
5. The souls which recommends itself to me by the recitation of the rosary, shall not perish.
6. Whoever shall recite the rosary devoutly, applying himself tho the consideration of its sacred mysteries shall never be conquered by misfortune. God will not chastise him in His justice, he shall not perish by an unprovided death; if he be just he shall remain in the grace of God, and become worthy of eternal life.
7. Whoever shall have a true devotion for the rosary shall not die without the sacraments of the Church.
8. Those who are faithful to recite the rosary shall have during their life and at their death the light of God and the plentitude of His graces; at the moment of death they shall participate in the merits of saints in paradise.
9. I shall deliver from purgatory those who have been devoted to the rosary.
10. The faithful children of the rosary shall merit a high degree of glory in heaven.
11. You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the rosary.
12. All those who propagate the holy rosary shall be aided by me in their necessities.
13. I have obtained from my Divine Son that all the advocates of the rosary shall have for intercessors the entire celestial court during their life and at the hour of death.
14. All who recite the rosary are my sons, and brothers of my only son Jesus Christ.
15. Devotion of my rosary is a great sign of predestination.

10 Things About Me

Hello there! I have listed 10 things about myself, and thought of sharing it with you guys. I think it's good to know other people even though you don't exactly know them personally. The way they express their thoughts and write in the net, especially in blog sites like this one, would put up some ideas to the readers of what kind of a person or the blogger is.

Additionally, we never know we share the same interests or we may have differences. But whatever it is, you, readers, can share the 10 things about yourself, too. Have fun!

Here are the lists of the 10 things about ME:

I am a person who sees the goodness in every human being.

I am trying to befriend people the first time I meet them because I do not know when would be the next time I’ll jump into them.

I easily gave my trust to others before, either they are my close friends or just an acquaintance, but I learned the hard way. You cannot trust other people easily.

If I did something good, I usually do not ask for return because I know SOMEONE greater than us sees it and takes care of everything.

And speaking of SOMEONE greater than us, I really do believe in God, His Son, Jesus Christ, and Mama Mary. I make it a point to go to mass every Sunday or trying to do it daily, and does it punctually. I also make sure to pray the Holy Rosary because I believe in the 15 promises of Mama Mary to Christians recite the Rosary.

I am trying to be honest with myself, especially with my feelings, because I do not want to create chaos with my inner being.

I highly respect and adore my parents because they are the ones who brought me up in this world and the one who will stick with me until the end.

I have a passion of reading books, online articles, magazines, and especially the Bible. I have realized that the Bible has all the guidance and the wisdom we need as we prepare ourselves for Eternity and for the coming of Jesus Christ.

I am a nurse, but because of the present crisis, I have to find another ways to help my family financially. For now, I am thinking of finding new ways to earn and save money.

I am trying to be kind to others because this is what I’ve been taught to do. I am trying to help other people as much as I could, especially out-of-school youth, the homeless, the elders who are begging for food, the orphans, and people who are knocking at my door and asking for help, even though I don't have anything to give. As what Mother Teresa said: "It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters ."

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Love Solutions

My last blog talks about how my ex and I broke up. And the reason was because of a girl. You know what, let me tell you something. Girls shouldn't go out to flirt with boys or men who are already in a relationship! Please, let's have some respect here. This man is, or was, the core of my being, the fire within me, and/or the reason of my existence. But, anyway, boys or men, on the other hand, shouldn't flirting back to that kind of girl. Ugh!

But after learning what happened, I asked our Supreme Being to help and guide me with this obstacle, to deepen my faith and to try to work things out.

I’ve learned that COMMUNICATION is a must for any relationship. Both parties should get involved and try to solve the problem, rather than escaping the problem itself and try to forget all about it.

HONESTY is a big thing for any relationship. If one has a problem concerning with the other, he/she should talk directly to the person, and not expressing his/her feelings to others, I must say. This process would help both parties not to create any chaos that might occur in the future. Like, rumors that might leak out and friends that would hate each other, in my case.

I also learned that I SHOULD NOT give my trust to others easily. Reminiscing what happened, I felt that I was being stupid not noticing anything. Thank goodness someone very close to me told me what was going on. I felt like I was a total idiot! I thought everything was okay, but the hell, why didn’t I notice?

Ironically, when I heard all about it, there was no anger in my heart, either to him or anyone. Maybe I was just trying to digest the facts. What’s in my mind was that I need to hear his explanations. So, we set off a date to try to clear things up.

The Real Story Behind My Ex-Lover and I

I’d like to start my story with a little history.
I had a boyfriend for six years. His name was Reu Lawrence and I loved him for who he was and what he’d done for me. I was very much happy with how our relationship turned out in those years and I was looking forward of what in store for us in the future.
Through these long years, I learned that a RELATIONSHIP has three (3) parts, namely: LOVE, TRUST, and COMMUNICATION.
I loved Lawrence very much and I trusted him with all my heart and soul. He was a guy who, in what my instinct was telling me, was a serious, very loving, kind, and understanding. He taught me how to love and to trust, and in return, I showered him my love and trust.
He even introduced me to his family, and also the same thing I did for him. His mom would go to our house sometimes and visit my mom and they would chat for hours. Sometimes, his family would invite me to go with them for road trip or even family vacations. The life I had was really a smooth breeze.
Until recently, things turned out the way I did not expect it to be. I tried to be strong and weighed things in a logical way. I thought I was one of the luckiest girls in the world, but I was wrong. Problems do really arise in any relationship, especially if there is a 3rd party involved, and my mistake was that I did not perceive it will going to happen.


Well, first of all, I don’t know where to start. I am deeply hurt by now. Many questions stirring in my mind right, like… IS IT WRONG TO GIVE ALL WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE? IS IT WRONG TO LOVE A PERSON SO MUCH? I guess the answers to these questions are YES and YES. In my journey of this thing called LOVE, I learned how to love without expecting anything in return. For a while it felt really good, but soon enough I had to stop. because in the long run, I’m losing myself. So stupid me. Apparently, this experience gives me wisdom and open my mind to the TRUTH. The truth that no matter how wonderful, how incredibly perfect life may seem, GOOD THINGS NEVER LAST…
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