"Mother is a tough 24-hour job: no pay, no day-off, most often unappreciated; and yet resignation is impossible."
I wanted to tell my Mama how blessed I am for having her in our life. She is my mother, my friend, my companion, my strength and my weakness at the same time, my shield, my protector, my comfort, my shelter, and most of all, my life. She is the source of connection between us and our father. Without you in the house just for a day, I can't call it as a home.
Seeing you in the ICU bed more than 2 years ago, it was the most terrible day of my life. I didn't know what to do after you had your cerebral hemorrhage. Seeing you in that one fateful night, after not knowing who I am, your own daughter, my knees got trembled not knowing what our future lies ahead for our family. I got scared for you. I kept my tears from falling because I don't want your sisters to feel weak, instead, I kept on telling them to be strong and to trust God. But I my knees wouldn't stop from trembling.
And when you were in the CT scan room, you were restless and you couldn't look at me straight in the eyes. Your words were inappropriate and you kept on forcing yourself to get off from where you are. And, to make you feel that there is someone who will stay with you, I volunteered to be with you while you were undergoing a CT scan. I didn't care what will happen to me if I get exposed from the laser. In that instant, all I am thinking is you.
Looking at you intensely in the ICU, memories were rushing back to me. Those memories were so vivid and I felt happy while reminiscing those times. The time when I was still a little kid, when you will wake us up and telling us to get up for school. The times when you would prepare our breakfast everyday and without a single day you missed on doing that until college and even until the time I am working and before you got admitted in the hospital. The time when you will do the laundry of our school uniforms and work uniforms, making sure it is very clean and white because you didn't want us to be bullied by others. The time when you would stay in our school for whole day from Kindergarten to 3rd Grade, waiting for us your daughters to get out. The time when you were there when we had stomachache or got sweat after playing, you know what to do. And other things that this page couldn't occupy. And looking through your hands and touching it, I could still feel the love burning in your heart for us. The warmth of your hands are so good to touch and I feel secured while touching those beautiful hands. Those memories that I cherish are part of me that I couldn't afford to lose you during that time.
I kept on praying and asking God that He will not allow you this time, not yet, because we are not ready. I even prayed to St. Jude Thaddeus for 9 consecutive days for your healing. And, true enough, miracles do happen. After 3 days in the ICU and 10 days in the hospital, you were advised to go home without even a hint that you had a stroke. You have no residuals and I thank God and St. Jude Thaddeus for their divine intervention. Even the doctors couldn't believe it in their own eyes!
My love for you Mama is everlasting. I don't think you know this, but even as a kid, when we were lying on your bed hugging each other, a thought came to me that I would even risk my life for you. I love you so dearly that I promise myself that even if I have my own children, I will not hesitate to care for you and give you my love and my time. You are God's gift to me, and I will treasure you for the rest of my life.
I love you, Mama Jeannie!